Wednesday, July 30, 2008
GOD*JESUS
Consequent multi-cultural mayhem ensues in the form of this pious pee-wee desk robot. Ostensibly, he wields a crucifix/bouquet of violets. Substantively, he is effective at curbing youthful daydreams about coy debs with sensible haircuts.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Ewok Celebration Song (Yub Nub)
Father-In Law Day is tommorow and I'd just like to say, one very special gift may well be simply keeping things like this to yourself.
Allay loo tu nuv!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Benny Hinn: Historic Media Hype-coon
Ignore the evil deeds, think of him as a sincere fideist and he starts to seem like some sort of prototypical post-modern gentleman. Topped maybe by Homer Simpson (that time he warped into the third-dimension).
Consider the wickedness? Consider what keeps the Hinnmeister in PABA-free hair care products? Then acquiesce to Beelzebub, who gives the H-man: 3 1/2 Hooves (out of 5 possible Hooves).
If you didn't acquiesce, do so now.
Friday, July 25, 2008
On LOL Cats
I submit:
“Most people today are confident in their ability to recognize LOL Cats and to avoid being taken in by them. So the phenomenon has not aroused much deliberate concern or attracted much sustained inquiry.
In consequence we have no clear understanding of what LOL Cats are, why there are so many of them or what function they serve.”
Yes, but what does this mean for stoic mice?
Journey at the Center of the Earth
Yet another classic story turned into demonstrative blow-up movie (such an unfortunate trend ...we GET it, the mans got initiative to spare).
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Scooby-Doo Graham Cracker Sticks
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
N.M.B.C.J.
Cake Wrecks
The Invisible Man
Upgraded for the nuclear age, this take on 'The Invisible Man' origin story is immensely more thrilling than the Wells account of a 19th century English chemist.
I can't help wonder what happened to all those invisible guinea pigs though. Lost following the accident? Humanly euthanized? I'd like to think they were allowed to live out the rest of their days dining on invisible lettuce.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Pipe Dreams
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Diff'rent Strokes
Mr. Drummond finds the adoption of Arnold and Willis to be the gift that keeps on giving. But getting his swerve on with Arnold's elementary school teacher has a downside ...for Arnold that is.
Friday, July 18, 2008
How to Dress for a Job Interview
- Conservative two-piece business suit
- Conservative long-sleeved shirt/blouse
- Clean, polished conservative shoes
- Well-groomed hairstyle
- Clean, trimmed fingernails
- Minimal cologne or perfume
- Empty pockets--no bulges or tinkling coins
- No gum, candy or cigarettes
- Light briefcase or portfolio case
- No visible body piercing
Staring Problem
The latest DVD craze: women staring at the camera. Japan Probe has a theory about these videos.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
SH-Boom SH-Boom
Like many other male children of the eighties, I had a huge crush on Holly from 'Land of the Lost' and to a lesser degree Pippi's friend Annika ... but it wasn't until Leslie Ann Warren's Miss Scarlett from the movie adaptation of the boardgame Clue, when I found the impulse to copulate with a woman on sight.
Poetry Corner
‘Stability of a Penguin’ is presented with innovative meter, wonderfully unsettling subject matter and skillfull use of alliterative melody. Efficient but complicated enough to give the reader something new to discover each time. Easily surpassing the sum of its parts, becoming a tour-de-force survey of human emotion.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Robot God
Robot God? How about we just put away the egos and send for I.O.F.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Mercury Records
Outline:
The Hanson brothers leave their suburban home on foot until a taxi driver drives them to an inner city RTD stop. They debus at an industrial park near a wilderness area and a a cave: a cave to the beach. After clowning around, they go plant flowers in the middle of a dirt road, then leave in a Volkswagen Thing for a joyride. On the way home, the boys stop in front of Thrifty to practice rollerblading.
notes- Whenever possible they talk about being on the moon without spacesuits, people who lived during the roaring 20‘s and “what are we gonna tell the cops?”.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Garlic Breath
Thursday, July 10, 2008
The Princess Bride: A Movie Synopsis
Wesley was once a farm boy who fell in love with a beautiful young girl called Buttercup. Abandoning her, he goes out to seek his fortune, reinventing himself as “The Dread Pirate Roberts”. He successfully robs and kills many, many people. Then one day, he hears from a fellow cutthroat... that Buttercup has been kidnapped. So, on a whim he tracks her down to the Cliffs of Insanity.
With the help of a drunken Spaniard, they eventually break up the princess-t0-be's wedding; Thus ruining Buttercup's chances of joining the aristocracy. What happens after the getaway we can only assume. Probably, the three retire to a sex-cult in far-off Gilder with their blood money, Buttercup thoroughly addicted to iocane powder.
How to Say No
If only Joe had access to this information as a boy, instead of relying on regional dialect to serve as his moral compass. But this isn't about Joe, it's about Wittgensteinian language games.
The Aptera
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
Top 40 Through the Years
A sociological case should be made for the existence of such songs: First, they get people talking about important issues, they also remove taboos which (may or may not) lead to sexual experimentation in youth. And besides, shouldn’t “the music of the people” reflect real-life situations?
The effect would experience an apex with 'Dude Looks Like a Lady' by Aerosmith:
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Friday, July 4, 2008
9000 Sparklers
Taking thier positions, with fuse burning, someone adds: "I don't know where the hose is."
I LOL
Thursday, July 3, 2008
The Cosby Show
Sexy Star Trek
Q. Why don't you include more recent Star Trek characters?
A. Not into A.S.F.R.
And for the ladies... the sexiest man in television history: Ricardo Montalban as Khan.
['Space Seed']
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Dubious Ice Cream
link